Life happens to everyone, it never stops, it never slows down, and it can be so unpredictable at times. It is so funny (in an ironic way) when I get email or social media messages from people feeling like their life is in shambles and asking me for advice on how to put it back together. Every time I am presented with that question I self-reflect and try to figure out what is it about me, what have I displayed that would make this person feel that I am capable of answering a question of that magnitude...then it hit me...success or "having it together" is not the absence of bad days, but it is knowing how to handle those bad days.
When I started college my mom had a stroke and later I discovered she was battling ovarian cancer, I've hosted major events and film projects during a very close death in my family, working to launch different projects and programs while enduring a violent relationship, launched my lipstick line the day I packed up my car and drove across the country with no sure plans, family drama/issues, being betrayed by friends I thought were sisters, working odd jobs to make ends meet, and I really could go on and on but I'll save the details for another time.
There will be days when you feel that all hope is lost, there will be days you are an emotional wreck, there will be days you question why things have to happen to you, there will be days that you just can't see a way out. Those days don't mean you are weak, those days mean you are human. I said all of that to say there is an art to handling bad days and getting it "together" is simply mastering this skill set. In today's post I will share 3 steps to achieving this:
1. Recognize Truth vs Lie
Some things we make up in our heads -we get ourselves all worked up and we get emotional over things that aren't even true...The negative voices in your head telling you that you are not happy, you are not doing enough, you can't reach your goals are all LIES. The moment a negative thought/lie enters your mind you have to work hard to combat it with the truth. See once seeds of doubt are planted in our minds it distracts us from our purpose and causes us to stray from the path that we were destined to travel.
2. Silence is Golden
The times I am not feeling well, I try my hardest to stay silent. Your words will expose you because anything on the inside of you will show itself eventually. I also think things through prior to speaking because you can say things you don't really mean, things that are extremely harmful to someone else, or you may not even have all the facts yet. Once you put words into the world you cannot take them back.
Venting to the wrong person (or social media) in your time of hurt, disappointment, confusion, etc is never a good idea. Emotions are temporary and subject to change at any time. Just because you feel something in a moment trust me when I say that it is sure to pass and will pass quickly. Things are much easier to tear down than they are to build or repair.
3. Get to the Root of the Issue & Face it Head On
Simply ignoring your problems will never make them go away...it only drags out the amount of time they stay present in your life and often times this can destroy business connections, relationships, finances, dreams and so much more. It can be easy to lash out when you feel frustrated or overwhelmed, so you have to get to the root of the true issue in order to eliminate it. Maybe you took on too many projects or commitments and need to back out of a few, maybe your body is telling you you need more rest, whatever the case may be you really have to look yourself in the mirror and do the work. No one is responsible for you, except YOU.